Yep, I said ‘tremor’ instead of ‘shiver’. Today I had an adventure at the local health food store. I love going to that store. (Can you say organic ‘chocolate covered almonds’?) But the clientele can be a bit odd. I’m not picking on anyone. Heck, I’m odd. No discrimination intended. Here’s the deal:
I was perusing the B12 vitamins for my vegetarian daughter. (I’m a carnivore. She’s a vegetarian. Go figure. I probably traumatized her with a medium rare steak.) The area where I was reading labels was right by the cash register. A very nicely dressed woman of my age was placing cans and packages of flour onto the counter. Her conversation with the clerk was sprinkled with bits of this and that. And then she suddenly started talking about ‘sink holes’….in great detail…in her own view of what was causing these horrible house-eaters.
“Something is coming out of the sink holes. Something from deep below,” she said. She was very dramatic about this.
The clerk nodded and replied, “Maybe gas. Like a giant belch?”
“No,” the woman stated. “And it’s not because of fracking…I’m talking ‘things'”
I am not making fun of the woman. She is entitled to her views, but….
What the heck?
I began to think of the movie Tremors. I almost interrupted the conversation by adding my two cents that it had to be Graboids, but I didn’t. I stood there shaking. Images of Kevin Bacon whooping up on a giant nematode were racing through my thoughts. I couldn’t help it. Needless to say I had to exit the store fast before some of my favorite lines from Tremors escaped my lips.
Valentine McKee: Roger that Burt, and congratulations. Be advised, however, that there are two more, repeat, two more motherhumpers.
Valentine McKee: This valley is just one long smorgasbord.
Burt Gummer: Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn’t ya you bastard!
I ran to my car and immediately called my oldest daughter who loves Tremors also. I do believe I became healthier from all the laughter.
(NOTE: I will be sporadically posting until mid-August…a bit here…a bit there…unless the Graboids get me. Then you won’t hear a thing from me. Scribbles.)